it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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