I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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