Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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