I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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