I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
