Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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