this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
