Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
