hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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