You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
