My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize