last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I stole a fireplace last night.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
