Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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