So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
