I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
