i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
