I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
