No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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