He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize