me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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