you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Randomize
