I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
