whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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