I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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