I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
