Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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