sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
