I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
