Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
