i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
