party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
