I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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