we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
