wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
