IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
