It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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