Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
