Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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