I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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