It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
