my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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