I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
