Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
