She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
