he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
