I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
