is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
