Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
