ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
handjob tips. give me some.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
