So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
