this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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