yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
