we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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