I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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