please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
