i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
