Where is the hickey?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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