you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
this boner is exhausting
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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