You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
