watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
