I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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