so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
