It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize