ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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