is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
