Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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