As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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