you guys were way drunker than both of me
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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