"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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