And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize